Friday, December 19, 2025
Summary
The Trump administration wants to 'poof' away 1000+ citizens with a new, utterly impossible bureaucratic magic trick. HONK!
Full Story
🧩 Simple Version
Government HQ, somewhere deep in the bureaucratic labyrinth, has decided that some citizens need to hit the "un-naturalized" button. Poof! They want to take citizenship away from a whopping 1,000+ people next year. Imagine a giant, official "undo" button for being an American!
It's like playing a game of musical chairs, but instead of chairs disappearing, it's your citizenship that might vanish. The plan involves sending tons of these "undo" requests to the courts, like a paperwork avalanche.
🎭 The Giggle Spin
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because the Trump administration has cooked up a truly bonkers plan! They've apparently unleashed what we're calling the "Citizenship Shredder 5000," aiming to un-naturalize over a thousand Americans in fiscal year 2026. GASP! That's like, a whole football stadium full of folks they want to hit with the "undo" button!
New guidance (probably written on a napkin with a crayon) is telling the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services to send 100-200 denaturalization cases per month to the Justice Department. Imagine a tiny government squirrel, frantic with a clipboard, trying to meet this impossible quota! "Must find more cases! Must poof more citizens!" Squeak!
This is usually a super rare legal maneuver, like spotting a unicorn riding a unicycle. We're talking only 120 cases since 2017! But now? They want to make it an everyday occurrence, like finding a rogue sock in your laundry. Experts are all, "Whaaaat?! This is harder than teaching a cat to play the tuba!" It's a comedic bureaucratic ballet, destined to trip over its own shoelaces.
✅ Giggle Reality Check
So, let's peel back the banana skin on this one. The Trump administration, in a move that has lawyers doing double-takes, has indeed set a goal to denaturalize over 1,000 naturalized Americans in fiscal year 2026. This is part of a broader crackdown on immigration, turning the volume up to eleven.
New internal guidance directs the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) field offices to shovel 100-200 denaturalization cases each month over to the Office of Immigration Litigation. Imagine a frantic paper-pushing contest!
Now, for a bit of historical perspective: denaturalization is usually about as common as a polite politician. Justice Department figures show only about 120 denaturalization cases filed since 2017. Previously, it was an average of just 11 cases per year between 1990 and 2017. So, the new goal is a slight increase!
Experts (who actually understand how courts work) are shouting from the rooftops that this goal is "virtually impossible" to achieve through typical legal channels. Only federal courts can strip citizenship, and the legal bar is incredibly high, primarily for proven fraud. Former USCIS policy chief Amanda Baran even quipped,
Citizenship and naturalization are too precious and fundamental to our democracy for the government to take it away on their whim.
😂 Why This Is Hilarious
This whole situation is a cosmic joke because it's like watching a cartoon character trying to paint a masterpiece with a hammer. The sheer audacity of setting such an astronomical, legally unrealistic quota for something as fundamental as citizenship is pure comedic gold. It's a classic case of bureaucratic ambition meeting the brick wall of legal reality, complete with frustrated officials juggling paperwork and a Justice Department already "stretched paper thin." Honestly, it's less a policy and more a plot for a zany, slightly terrifying, workplace sitcom!