Monday, January 5, 2026
Summary
President Trump told oil companies his Venezuela invasion plans before Congress, claiming they'd 'fix' everything. Chaos ensued!
Full Story
🧩 Simple Version
Imagine a toddler, President Trump, with a shiny new toy: Venezuela's oil. He decided to "fix" it with a giant, imaginary wrench.
Instead of asking his actual grown-up parents, Congress, he called up his best imaginary friends, the Big Oil CEOs. "Let's go play! Boing!" he declared, completely forgetting the rules of adulting.
🎭 The Giggle Spin
So, President Trump, apparently channeling his inner super-villain/CEO hybrid, decided a surprise Venezuelan "infrastructure repair" mission was on the menu. But instead of, you know, telling the actual government body responsible for wars (those fuddy-duddy Congress folks), he had a secret pow-wow with the oil companies. "Shhh, guys, we're going to 'fix' Venezuela. Bring your biggest drills!" HONK!
It's like planning a surprise birthday party for a country, but only inviting the catering company and completely forgetting the guest of honor. Or the entire guest list! And then claiming it's just a speed bump inspection.
Pure, unadulterated, geopolitical vaudeville, folks!
✅ Giggle Reality Check
President Trump, bless his chaotic cotton socks, recently blabbed on Air Force One. He revealed his pre- and post-invasion chats with big oil companies regarding Venezuela.
He totally forgot to loop in Congress on this little escapade to "fix" Venezuela's infrastructure and nab Nicolás Maduro. Democrats, naturally, are doing the whole "GASP! Illegal war!" routine.
The White House is brushing it off as a mere "law enforcement operation" to nab a "narco-terrorist." Meanwhile, Trump is loudly proclaiming the U.S. will "run" Venezuela and take its oil. This creates a truly magnificent mixed message, funnier than a clown car convention.
😂 Why This Is Hilarious
This whole saga is a prime example of why reality often out-comedies fiction. The idea that a world leader would consult private corporations about a military-esque operation before their own legislative body is peak absurdity.
Then, to publicly admit it with a casual shrug, makes you wonder if we're living in a poorly-scripted cartoon. The sheer chutzpah of it all turns international relations into a slapstick farce.
It's a grand, theatrical display of priorities that belongs in a cosmic joke file.