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2025-12-09
Giggle-Gavel Drops! Secret Files Unleashed (But Judge Says They're Mostly Used Socks)
Judge unseals Maxwell's grand jury files, warns they're boring, and *tsk-tsks* the DOJ for forgetting victims. *Oopsie!*
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2025-12-09
GOP Lawmakers Attempt Miniature Mutiny, Accidentally Tickle Trump's Elbow Instead of Toppling Regime!
2025-12-09
The Great Prosecutor Puzzle: Alina Habba's Legal Limbo Lands with a *THUD*!
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2025-12-09
HONK! President Trump Unleashes Comedy Roast at Kennedy Center Honors, Awards Legends, Calls Audience 'Miserable' (Again!)
2025-12-09
Trump Calls MTG a 'Rotten Apple' and 'Very Dumb Person' After Her '60 Minutes' Meltdown
2025-12-09
Justice Alito Takes a Nap During Trump Case, Probably Dreaming of Flag-Related Incidents
2025-12-08
Bill Cassidy's 'Skin in the Game' Health Plan: Turning Patients into Hamsters on a Treadmill of Debt!
2025-12-08
Marjorie Taylor Greene Becomes a 'Battered Wife,' Ditches Trump After Epstein Files Drama!
2025-12-08
Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Trump Went Full "Furious Clown" Over Epstein Files, Because Apparently Even Raccoons Have Standards!
2025-12-08
President Trump Awarded FIFA Peace Prize: Did He Bribe Infantino with Tiny Soccer Balls?
2025-12-08
FBI's Top Clown Defends Pipe Bomb 'Inside Job' Theory with a Confused "Paid for Opinions!"
2025-12-08
Supreme Court Unleashes Giggling Gerrymander Gremlins on Texas!
2025-12-07
Trump Declares Himself the Ratings King: 'I'm Better Than Kimmel, Even Without a Crown!'
2025-12-06